Sunan of Eating | Explained

Date: 09th Rabi al Thani 1442

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم الحمد لله رب العالمين اللهم صلى وسلم على سيدنا محمد وعلى آله وأصحابه و من ول و بعد

In the name of God The Infinitely-Good The Merciful, all praise to God, The Lord of all creation. Oh God grant blessing and peace to our master Muhammad and his family and his companions and the righteous and those who come after.

The Etiquettes of Eating are forty in number. Eating is a daily act of worship and perfection of this practice as our shaykhs have taught us has enormous physical and spiritual benefits

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Halal & Tayyib

Make sure the food is wholesome and healthy

Wash hands before and after eating

Wash hands before eating for your health, and after eating for your wealth. You do not want to have dirty foods when eating, and likewise you do not want to get food on everything else once you return to your work after eating.

Rasulullah ﷺ⁽¹⁾ said “I am a slave and I eat as a slave would eat” His modesty and humility was unlike anything in this universe. The seriousness, honor, and nobility of Rasulullah ﷺ is such that his very presence would amaze people. When someone sees him would feel fear from his greatness, but it would immediately dissolve in his light. They quickly learn to love him because of his kindness, gentleness, and openness. A woman once came upon Rasulullah (saw) and was frozen with fear at his presence. He (saw) said “take it easy. I am not a king. I am just the son of a woman who used to eat jerky” Jerky was used only by the poor to preserve meat because the wealthy as a show of their wealth would just slaughter an animal anytime they wanted meat and they would enjoy it fresh. Such was the humility of Rasulullah (saw)

Eat on ground

Lay out a tablecloth and eat on the ground. Rasulullah ﷺ never ate at a table in his life.

Do not recline

Rasulullah ﷺ never ate while reclining in his life.

Make intention why you eat and ask God for something from the food

Before eating, intend to eat in order to be grateful to God. Ask Him to grant you strength for worshipping him and that the energy from the food becomes good deeds. Food itself makes dua to God asking to be eaten by a righteous person, because the honor of a human being who knows and serves God is the highest station in creation. (maybe add article about honor of human beings, and potential for lowliness)

Regarding your attitude toward food: there is a matter of your heart #6 and the matter of your actions #7. Both are exemplified in #8.

Be content with what you have

Even if you only eat rice with onion or rice with lentil to eat, do not think you are missing out. Remember, the people of Moses (as) complained to him because of a diet of only one food, and they asked for luxuries. The luxuries they asked for include grain, onion, and lentil.^[reference] How today people complain about only having what is a luxury!
Also, once Rasulullah ﷺ asked for food to eat, and being served bread he asked for condiments. Umm Hani (r) was so shy she only had vinegar to offer him. He - with his wonder of making people feel so honored - cheerfully said “What a wonderful condiment vinegar is!” and “No house is missing anything, that has vinegar in it!”.^[reference] So if he is content eating hard bread with only vinegar and speaks such beautiful words - and he never lied - how could we be so ungrateful?

Never criticize food.

If there is food in front of you, either eat it or don’t: this is what Rasulullah ﷺ would do. In fact, Rasulullah ﷺ never praised food either. Rasulullah ﷺ never said anything good or bad about food. However, he did teach us about food, and all his words in his life were meaningful. Some scholars have commented that anything and everything he did was really teaching us, and he received the reward of a fard for everything including what would be mubah for us - such as eating. He never said what foods he personally enjoyed. We only know that he liked certain foods because companions would observe him closely. For example Anas ibn Malik (r) noticed that Rasulullah ﷺ liked eating pumpkin.^[reference]

Give others the best of the meal, and do not desire it for yourself.

Once our mother Aaishah (r) had several lambs sacrificed and gave away all the meat except the shoulder - as she noticed this was her husband’s favorite. When Rasulullah ﷺ came home and his wife was eagerly watching his face. She quickly said, do not worry I did not waste anything. I gave it all in charity. To which he gave us a profound answer which we can take many life lessons from. What you sent is better than what you kept. He teaches us that giving what we love is more important than giving what we like. The scholars have noted that now-a-days people have schemed ways of giving without giving. What does that mean? It means we give what we do not need, like hand-me downs. Giving what we do not need is not charity, it is merely avoiding sin for if we did not give it away or use it ourselves we would be hoarding and wasting which is sinful. Ya Allah teach us to give others the best of what we have amin.
In all aspects of life, never wish that you will get more than anyone else, wish for the same, and if you have spiritual strength and closeness with God, wish that others get more and better than yourself. This is a reality of the heart, not words on the tongue. Do not make claims, but live the reality.

Try not to eat alone, but invite others

How many a great scholar have not eaten a meal without feeding a guest in a week? A month? A year? A decade? A lifetime? When they had to eat, they would not until they had found someone to share it with. Certainly, some have an awareness of their Lord which has penetrated their heart.

Know who eats first

Typically it is the eldest or most knowledgeable. In families however, it is always the husband/father who eats first.
The family must instill in the children that the father comes first, it is from bad character that one eat, stand up, sit down, or enter a room until after the father. One of our teachers Habib Muhammad (ra) was once invited to eat with a family and they said the son is running late so they laid out food for him seperate. Habib Muhammad (ra) got up and said thank you but I will not be joining you for this meal. They asked why and he said because you are ruining this child of yours by giving him preference, tomorrow he will not care for his parents because you are teaching him that he comes before everyone else. There is no blessing in such food nor such households. It is very important that families know that this is not selfish or rude, rather it is from the best of ettiquete, manners, respect, and most importantly it is what Islam teaches us. It is what we must do if we want to be saved from destruction. Those who protect the small issues are saved from falling into major ones, while those who neglect consciousness in small matters will lose it in major ones as well. Some people might come to think it is from the mercy or benevolence of the parents toward the children or husband toward the wife to allow them to eat first, but this is not correct. The mother has the main responsibility of instilling in the children reverence for the father. Likewise the father has the main responsibility of instilling in the children reverence for the mother. There is much wisdom in this. The message is better received and harmony is achieved. Also, it is disliked that anyone mention their own rights, rather they should support each other in raising the children in the correct way.

Do not talk about worldly matters while eating, nor be silent, but talk about Allah, Rasulullah ﷺ, and righteous people.

If you are going to speak about people, news, business, or anything like this it is better to remain silent.
There is the hadith where Rasulullah ﷺ says this is like the jews to talk about worldly things during meals.

Do not say anything unpleasant or ugly while eating

There are certain stories which - while praiseworthy - wisdom would dictate that one not mention them while eating. Peoples hearts should be soft. Someone with a soft heart is affected by words. When we see something on the news or hear about a sin our heart should be alive and not dead. Someone who is in tune with themselves would lose their appetite at any of these things, so avoid such topics.

When serving or passing something always pass to the right, regardless of age or status

This is actually among someone’s rights. They have a right to be served first, and thus we have this story: Once a young man was on the right of Rasulullah ﷺ and Abu Bakr (r) was on his left. Rasulullah ﷺ received a glass of milk and drank from it and asked the boy “May I have your permission to serve Abu Bakr (r) before you?” to everyone's amazement the boy said “no..” So he gave him to drink, but look at what the young man said, “I cannot imagine giving anyone else preference in your blessing and drinking from the milk you drank from” Look at the respect given to the young people. Today we have so little respect for young adults we have gone to extremes. In Islam a young adult is anyone who has shown the first sign of puberty who is between the ages of 9-15 lunar years (8.7-14.5 solar years). Today we do not give young adults any of the rights of adulthood, nor the respect to ask their permission to serve an elder before serving them. Another great lesson from this hadith is to notice the love people had toward Rasulullah ﷺ. Even young adults were wishing more than anything to have closeness to him, even just to drink from where he drank.

Do not watch others eat

The pious of Mauritania have been observed to actually cover their mouths when they eat out of their modesty and shyness.

Recite the Basmallah⁽²⁾ at beginning

Interestingly, Hujjat al Islam (r) mentions in the Ihya Ulum al Deen, when taking three draughts to say Bismillah⁽³⁾ on the first sip, Bismillahir Rahman⁽⁴⁾ on the second sip, and Bismillahir Rahmanir Raheem⁽⁵⁾ on the third.
We know regarding the unseen a conversation between a weak devil and a strong devil. The weak one complained that the person he was assigned to always mentioned the name of God upon his food, and he was starving because of it. The strong one laughed that the person he was assigned was absent minded and negligent, and he was strong and well-fed because of it.
Recite the Basmallah even if at the middle or the end, for it causes the shayton to lose the food her partook

Do not leave until everyone has finished eating

Remain seated until the dining cloth is lifted. Meaning never leave until everyone is finished and leaving, this makes people feel comfortable

Do not stop eating while others still eat

Do not stop eating while you have companions around you, for this will make them feel uncomfortable to continue eating

Stop eating before becoming full

One should fill one third of his stomach with food, one third with water, and one third remaining for air.
One scholar teaches that this is about the size of your fist. So when you have a plate of food in front of you, ensure that it does not exceed the size of one clenched first. If you are eating more than that, you are eating too much. This equates to 200 ml for a growth woman and 300 ml for a grown man. Therefore one Sa’⁽⁶⁾ of food (c. 3 liters) should suffice twelve people: six grown men and six grown women.

Take small bites

Eat slowly

Eating slowly and following all the sunan⁽⁷⁾ will help you to achieve both 1) not become full and 2) not finish before anyone else

Do not take another bite until you have finished / swallowed

Chew food thoroughly

Eat from what is closest to yourself

Eat only what is in front of you, and do not reach around the plate. This only counts for when it is all the same food. When there are different kinds of food you may take from what is closest to yourself of each kind of food within certain boundaries. However, use common sense and if the other food is far from you do not reach for it, but ask for it to be passed.

Eat with the right hand and use three fingers

These are the index finger, the middle finger, and the thumb

Do not blow on hot food or drink, but wait for it to cool

Eat food that has fallen

Once the Messenger of God ﷺ was walking with his companions and he lifted a date off the ground and picked off what was one it, perhaps dirt or hair, and he removed what went bad from it, for part of the date had perhaps gone rotten, and he took a bite. He then offered it to his companions, but the kindly refused. Look at the Messenger of God ﷺ who could command any wealth and had over one hundred thousand strong men who would die for him if he but gave the word, yet he lived in poverty. The companions declined the offer and the noble Messenger of God ﷺ said Verily, nothing has entered my stomach in three days. Look how the best caretaker this world ever had on it was himself living in hardship, for no one came to him except his need was filled and no one asked him except he gave what was asked.

Do not waste anything

If one has left overs he should have invited more guests or made less food. Never-the-less, now with the left over food he must prioritize it and finish it next meal until he has made certain that nothing of it has gone bad or is thrown away.

Eat meat off the bone, do not remove it from bone beforehand

This is based on a weak hadith, yet never-the-less it is practiced upon. Weak hadiths cannot be disrespected or dismissed.
The method of practicing this sunnah is to cook meat on the bone and lift the whole piece and bite the meat off the bone directly. Do not cut the meat off the bone or otherwise remove it.

Eat odd number of things which can be counted

Grapes for example.

Drink in threes

Take three draughts with a breath between each.

Sit when drinking

The Hanafi⁽⁸⁾ school says it is recommended to stand when drinking zamzam⁽⁹⁾, however the Shafi’i⁽¹⁰⁾ school holds that the sunnah remains to drink while sitting, and when the Messenger of God ﷺ drank standing up he was merely showing the permissibility of such an action.

When drinking sip and do not gulp

Look into the cup before drinking

An anecdote about this is the famous story of Imam Haddad (r)⁽¹¹⁾. A man was critical of Imam Haddad and thought because he was blind he could not author so many books, so he went to visit him. The man was welcomed and Imam Haddad spoke beautifully to him and served him coffee. When the man was about to take a sip of the coffee Imam Haddad told him to stop, reminded him of this sunnah, and informed him a fly had just landed in his coffee. The man realized that this blind man had better vision than himself. He no longer doubted the sainthood of Imam Haddad because he had sight of the heart which is better than sight of the eyes and he knew at that moment that he had in fact written all those great books. Still to this day we benefit from the book of Imam Haddad (r).

Learn adhkar after drinking and eating

Lick plate clean after eating

One should use the finger method. Wipe with the finger over the plate and lick the finger

Lick fingers after eating

While eating it is makrooh to eat to lick your fingers, though when you are done eating this is the time to lick your fingers and do so before washing your hands.

Wash mouth after eating

Traditionally two bowls would be brought out, from one one would take water and into the other he would put the used water. This allowed guests to wash their hands and rinse their mouth after eating. For 15 centuries and still today, Muslims are the people of the highest standard of cleanliness and etiquette. Do not spit, rather after swishing the water one should let it fall gently in order to not splash or upset the other guests with the sounds.
Drinking milk is included as eating, meaning one should rinse their mouth

Clean teeth after eating

After rinsing one's mouth, he should floss. Do not eat food bits that come from flossing. However, there is a difference of opinion about how soon after eating one flosses for example if one flosses right away after eating. I would recommend one not eat the bit after flossing no matter how immediately following one finishing his meal.

Use miswak after eating

Use a toothbrush after flossing. Preferably a toothbrush made from the Arak tree, as that is what the Messenger of God ﷺ used.

Be grateful to whoever served or cooked the food

One who is not grateful to the means that God put forth is not grateful to God Himself.

It is from among the perfection of a human being that he does everything consciously and with excellence. It is also from good character to recognize and be able to identify good character. Someone who is bereft of etiquette does not know it when he sees it, like a man ignorant of truth does not know it when he sees it. Therefore, do not neglect these sunan. Learn all of these and master them. Make these habits into your habits. Continue to strive until your character becomes a shining light from the light of the Messenger of God, the Beloved of God ﷺ.

Arabic words used:

1. ﷺ - blessings and peace of God upon him, this is said after mentioning Muhammad, the Messenger of God^↩

2. Basmallah - a word referring to the saying “Bismillah”, “Bismillahir Rahman”, or “Bismillahir Rahmanir Raheem”^↩

3. Bismillah - In the name of God^↩

4. Bismillahir Rahman - In the name of God, The Gracious^↩

5. Bismillahir Rahmanir Raheem - In the name of God, The Gracious, The Merciful ^↩

6. Sa’ - Traditional unit of volume^↩

7. Sunan - plural of sunnah meaning way or method. It refers to the sunan/sunnah of the Messenger of God ﷺ whom the righteous and intelligent emulate^↩

8. Hanafi - one of the accepted orthodox schools of interpretation of Islamic law^↩

9. Zamzam - water from the well of zamzam (lit. stop stop). The well was discovered by Hajar the wife of Abraham and mother of Ishmael^↩

10. Shafi’i - one of the accepted orthodox schools of interpretation of Islamic law^↩

11. (r) - May God be pleased with him/her, this is said after mentioning a great Muslim^↩

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Anything I said here which is true, is from Allah. Anything I said here which is false if from myself. I ask forgiveness for my shortcomings. I seek refuge in Allah from knowledge which does not benefit. May Allah grant us understanding of things as they are. May Allah bless and grant peace to our master Muhammad and his family.